finally forgive someone? Truly forgive someone? Not this half-ass forgiveness; you know the kind, when you say that you forgive someone but deep down you still hold hatred and vile thoughts for the person? But the true forgiveness. The kind that when you think about the person you feel at peace with them. Not that you have forgotten what they have done, but that you have given their negative energy back to them. You have let that energy go out of your body and soul and returned it to either your Higher Power or back to the person for them to carry.
So how does one go about true forgiveness? Hell if I know. I wish I did. There's really only a couple of people that have screwed me or my family that I can't forgive. One of them being a very close family member. Every time I think I have truly forgiven him, I find that it is just really the half-ass forgiveness. This person, I feel, I should forgive the most; but alas, I just can't. I've tried meditating on it. I've tried giving the negative energy back to my Higher Power and nothing, nada, zelp! Maybe one day I will find that true forgiveness for him. But then again, maybe he is just not meant to be in my life.
Or is it that they don't deserve my forgiveness? One for sure doesn't. He actually should rot in Hell for what he did to me. But then I end up carrying that negativity around don't I? So maybe they don't deserve my forgiveness, but I do.
I will work on this true forgiveness thing for these two; not for them, but for me.
