Mourning

I used to cry during movies or shows about someone dieing. I don't mean just a tear drop, but full on crying as if I personally knew the person or even animal. That was before I had any real grief in my life.

When Princess Dianna died I wept as if my own family had died. My grandfather had recently died and I guess some of my grief came from that. I watched her funeral as millions of others did. I wept when I saw her children walk behind her coffin. I was heartbroken for them. I don't why I felt so much emotion for a woman I didn't even know. I still don't.

Then my dad died in 1998. It devastated me. A piece of me literally died the day my dad died. There is not a day that doesn't go by that I don't grieve for my dad. Some days, like today, I cry for him. I don't cry every day for my dad, but I sure as hell miss him every day.


As I watched Ryan O'neal talk about his beloved Farrah, I couldn't help but be reminded of Honey Bear's dad when his wife died. I remember when he asked to see her and the funeral director tried to dissuade him. He would not take no for an answer. I can still hear his sobs. He looked at her and held her, crying. He gave her one last kiss and just kept telling her he loved her. I totally get that grief now. I was 19 when that happened and I'll be honest, I thought it a little morbid for him to kiss her. But now I know. It wasn't morbid at all. It was grief.

I was so shocked and sad to learn of Michael Jackson's death too. Again, I know nothing of him but the joy his music gave me. How his songs coincided with my memories of high school and my first years of marriage. His music was a soundtrack to my young adulthood.

So I have wept a lot today. I wept for me and the grief I carry and I wept for all that have felt that grief. It is soul changing.

The fool-proof plan

Okay, so as I stated in my previous blog, Baby Girl and I hatched up a Father's Day plan. I knew Honey Bear had no idea it was going to be Father's Day so breakfast in bed would be a great surprise.

I did not over sleep and Baby Girl woke up shortly after I did. At 10:00 we went to the magic making room, you know, the kitchen. Some may need to get their minds out of the gutter..Any way, I needed my microwave bacon tray and wouldn't you know it, it was in the sink buried under some dishes. Well you know I'm sooo ninja like I thought I'd just slide that puppy on out, undetected. WRONG! Next thing I hear is CLASH, CHING, PLING...and the minute it happen I thought, "Shit! That's gonna wake up the sleeping Honey Bear". Sure enough a minute later I hear the water running; well you know a waking Honey Bear's gotta pee. I said, "Welp Baby Girl, Daddy Bear's awake". Then there he appears at our bedroom door with one eye opened, "What's happening?" I said, "Oh I just needed something, I'm sorry, go back to bed". Well apparently Honey Bear was still a sleepy Bear and he went back to bed...WHEW! Proceed with plan 'Breakfast in Bed'.

So I made pancakes, bacon and eggs with the help of Baby Girl. Without her the bacon wouldn't of tasted so good. After the pancakes were golden brown, the eggs firm not runny (as Honey Bear prefers) and the bacon extra crispy (as I prefer), I took our feast to the bedroom and there was Honey Bear sleeping so soundly. Amanda announces, "Happy Father's Day"! Honey Bear grins and is actually surprised that breakfast was being delivered to him. We eat the delicious banquet and now I'm stuffed and happy!

So here's to plan 'Breakfast in Bed!' being a huge sucess!

Cinquain poem

Father
Smart, Patient
Loving, Caring, Knowing
Always there and dependable
Daddy

Thank you Daddy

Today is Father's day and of course, I'm thinking of my wonderful dad. He left me way too early. I get sad at times about that. I get pissed about it too. I always could depend on my dad. Always. He always gave great advice without judgement, unlike my mom. I could tell my dad anything and he would never judge me. If I had a question, no matter how trivial, he would sit and twirl his moustache mulling over his much thought out answer.

He was quite a different type of man. He wasn't into sports. Oh sure, we went to the Braves games and watched the Super Bowl, but it wasn't a every Sunday thing. He was more outdoorsy. He loved his gardening. He could grow anything. Those that came to our house would be in wonderment of my dad's yard. True, we were never allowed to play in it, but I really didn't care. I loved the flowers he grew. The colors would just pop out at you. His roses were heavenly. Nothing like a bouquet of fresh flowers to brighten the room.

My dad loved me. I never had to guess at it. I always knew it. I'm thankful I had the dad I had. He would discipline me when I needed it and it would not be a spanking, it would be with reasoning and patience.

I love my dad. I'm very thankful for him being in my life even though it was not near long enough. He wasn't perfect, but he was to me. Happy Father's Day Daddy.

It sucks getting old!

Okay, so I'm not a dinosaur. I'm not cryptic. I'm not as old as dirt. But would someone please tell that to my body? It's so bad, I overslept on Wednesday and since we were meeting with friends, we couldn't follow my flawless plan of getting school done before we met them. I asked Baby Girl if she wanted to do school after we got back or Saturday and she wisely chose Saturday. So here we are, doing school on a Saturday. It's no big deal really. Honey Bear had to work any way so it was just like any other day.

It's the end of our 2nd week of school and all wells that ends well and today ended quite well spank you very much. I actually had to change our schedule around a bit, we were neglecting Reading. It was our last subject and because Baby Girl is reading remarkably well, I really wasn't putting much emphasis on it. But I felt sorry for poor Reading. I mean, what did it do to deserve getting pushed to the side? It gives us so much pleasure and yet here I was, neglecting it. No more I say! No more.

Tomorrow is Father's Day. I highly doubt Honey Bear even realizes his special day is tomorrow. Baby Girl and I have hatched a fool-proof plan. If she wakes before me, she's to come wake me up and together we will create a breakfast fit for a King. Okay, that may be over stating it. It will be breakfast; you know the standard pancakes, eggs and bacon. If I wake before Baby Girl, I'm to wake her up. After breakfast is ready we will take it and her gift and card she made to Honey Bear in bed. Awww I know so sweet. Let's hope this plan comes to fruition and my cryptic, dinosauric, older than dirt body doesn't over sleep and ruin it.

With that said, I better get in bed. Night all!

What a day!

Okay, so Baby girl and I have been doing school for a week now...7 days and I'm exhausted! I feel like I've been wading in waist high mud for 7 days. She doesn't want to listen, she doesn't like school, and worse off she's not following directions. She doesn't read the problems all the way through or listen to the problems. Oh I can't wait until the teenage years come! Yes, that is sarcasm! lol.

I've been through this before, it's always rocky when we first start back. I'm sure we will get back on track and have a blast! No sarcasm there! :)

On a high note, we have had some wonderful summer field trips so far. Today, we went to Lenora's water park with Bear. We had a fantastic time! Wednesday, we're heading for a mani/pedi with some friends. We've also been bowling a lot.

I was hoping that, even though we've started school, we'll still have a rockin' summer and so far so good. Now to only loose some weight from all this swimming & extra activities! Come on body do your thang! lol.

As Scarlet says, "Tomorrow is another day." We'll see Scarlet, we'll see....

Are you ready to enter my world?

I just made this blog for when the writing bug bites me. I really don't have much to say tonight.

We'll see where this takes us. It may just be a hop-skip down the street, or it could be around the world. Who knows? I'm willing to stick to it and find out. Are you?